My Terrifying List

I have had a list of promises, a list of things that I was always going to do once my job finished. Now that time has come, and this list is a little daunting.

• Get back in shape - I don't know if 'back in shape' are the words one might use, but 13 weeks of a sedentary overnight job has left me in more rounded proportions than before. So, join a gym, turn fat to muscle, etc.
• Internet projects - these have grown in number to include
• MuTube - a music hosting service
• Super Florence Jam - I'm doing a redesign for them
• Planet of the Lizards - we're going to write an entire book over the internet. A daunting task in itself.
• Turn work room into music studio - It already is, in a way. The transition is mostly formal - I'm going to build a wraparound desk, get everything working the way it should. Possibly upgrade monitors and microphones; in the future there may be soundproofing and a dedicated Mac Pro.
• Cut snow video - this one should be easier now I have my new iPod to use as a scratch disk. Still, finding time can be hard.
  
  And the final and most daunting task of all:
  
• Come out to my family.
  
  Virtually everyone else I know knows that I'm gay. I don't know if anyone knows how hard this is, apart from other gay guys of course. It's not fear of rejection or anything - I don't know how they'll take it, but I'm sure no-one's doing anything drastic. At least, not drastically bad. What's scary is the change - I've been carrying this secret for years and years. I can barely remember what it was like to not have it - and as much as I hate it, fear of change is in us all, and there are fewer changes larger than this. The mere thought of it gives me goosebumps. (I'm serious. I just got goosebumps from thinking about it.)

I feel some trepidation about almost every single item in that list, and for the moment, it's easier to concentrate on the ones I feel comfortable with, like the internet projects.

But sooner or later, this list needs to be completed.
-gorman