so give me the courage to be an invisible

I just watched a homemade music video for "Run" by Snow Patrol on Youtube. (Why? It was stuck in my head, of course.) It gave me a sudden urge to go out and make a music video for, of all things, "Invisible" by Infusion.

I don't know exactly how it's going to pan out, but I need a large, abandoned warehouse.

because everyone else clearly knows what they're doing

I joined a gym.

I noticed that being in a gym is an extremely good way to make you feel inadequate. Luckily with your joining fee (which was, as one might expect, exorbitant) you also get three half-hour sessions with a personal trainer to get you started, as it were. This is good, because I basically have no idea what I'm doing. All I know is I want to get in shape.

I also haven't told any of my family - indeed I've gone to lengths not to tell them - and I'm not sure why.

holy crap

oh my god it is so fucking hot

this is like my worst nightmare and my greatest dream at the same time

Let me paint you a scene.

An earnest, hard-working web designer (myself, and yes, an oxymoron) is working away at a problem that just won't seem to resolve. He's trying all kinds of workarounds but still, nothing works. He's getting fairly depressed and is now forcing himself to work, and not enjoying it, which is something he tries to avoid doing. He decides that instead, he'll drown his sorrows and then have a stab at it a bit later. He goes to the freezer and finds a half-full bottle of Stoli - he takes a hearty swig. (Man, that stuff tastes nice.) Because of his inescapable addiction, he returns to his computer and resumes debugging.

After about fifteen minutes, it starts turning around - and lo, in about five minutes the thing is working perfectly.

And I am forced to a single conclusion: I work better when I'm drunk.

is it that we're all sexual deviants?

Have you ever had a thought, and then thought, "Man. If I said that to someone else they'd think I was a real sicko." I think it's just ordinary stuff but if you actually said it to someone they'd say "Whoa, too much information. Didn't need to know that," and then they would never be able to look at you the same again. This is happening to me all the time, and one begins to wonder if one actually genuinely is a bit weird that way.

But I obviously can't voice said thoughts here, because then you will think I am a total sicko.

sbs have just abandoned any pretense

I just saw a promo on SBS for "Do Communists Have Better Sex?"

My Terrifying List

I have had a list of promises, a list of things that I was always going to do once my job finished. Now that time has come, and this list is a little daunting.

• Get back in shape - I don't know if 'back in shape' are the words one might use, but 13 weeks of a sedentary overnight job has left me in more rounded proportions than before. So, join a gym, turn fat to muscle, etc.
• Internet projects - these have grown in number to include
• MuTube - a music hosting service
• Super Florence Jam - I'm doing a redesign for them
• Planet of the Lizards - we're going to write an entire book over the internet. A daunting task in itself.
• Turn work room into music studio - It already is, in a way. The transition is mostly formal - I'm going to build a wraparound desk, get everything working the way it should. Possibly upgrade monitors and microphones; in the future there may be soundproofing and a dedicated Mac Pro.
• Cut snow video - this one should be easier now I have my new iPod to use as a scratch disk. Still, finding time can be hard.
  
  And the final and most daunting task of all:
  
• Come out to my family.
  
  Virtually everyone else I know knows that I'm gay. I don't know if anyone knows how hard this is, apart from other gay guys of course. It's not fear of rejection or anything - I don't know how they'll take it, but I'm sure no-one's doing anything drastic. At least, not drastically bad. What's scary is the change - I've been carrying this secret for years and years. I can barely remember what it was like to not have it - and as much as I hate it, fear of change is in us all, and there are fewer changes larger than this. The mere thought of it gives me goosebumps. (I'm serious. I just got goosebumps from thinking about it.)

I feel some trepidation about almost every single item in that list, and for the moment, it's easier to concentrate on the ones I feel comfortable with, like the internet projects.

But sooner or later, this list needs to be completed.
-gorman

maybe you should do some research first

There's a documentary on Discovery right now about high-speed rail systems. Out of the Maglev segment, they went to a short segment about NASA's designs on going into space using a maglev system. Right at the end was a computer sim of a theoretical Maglev launch system for a space shuttle. The voice over said "..someday there may be a maglev fast enough to launch us... into space." Set aside the ridiculous voice. This man is suggesting - I'm sure that it's not actually NASA suggesting this - this man is suggesting that a maglev train can accelerate a payload, weighing hundreds of tons, to escape velocity.

Escape velocity is eleven kilometres per second.

my very last day

This is my last day. By which I mean night, obviously.

At least, for this year. Once they stop shooting I stop having tapes to digitise and I am effectively made redundant.

It's odd, because I've never worked Mondays before, at least, not Monday nights - and as I'm sure none of you are aware (for the obvious reason) Idol goes to air Monday nights, live. So, they are all in studio right now.

This is odd because, as I have mentioned before, I usually work here completely alone, the only person in the whole complex - and for tonight, for the first time I saw someone else here. For the first time I wasn't alone - far from it, I saw the audience on my way in, plus of course all the crew on the floor - but I saw someone, up in the hallways, in the place where I work, whilst I was working.

That someone was Andrew G. Weird.

things that make no sense, volume two

I just learned that the release date for the next Harry Potter movie in Australia is September 6th. I'm not an avid fan of the Harry Potter movies, but one of the things about the internet is that you often end up on pages you care very little about, and read them anyway.

The point of all this is that Australia is, as usual, one of the last countries to get a film. In fact, it is the last country, and by a long way. The US release date is July 13th. That's three months before we get it.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: staggering release dates makes no sense. Especially not by three months.