My Terrifying List

I have had a list of promises, a list of things that I was always going to do once my job finished. Now that time has come, and this list is a little daunting.

• Get back in shape - I don't know if 'back in shape' are the words one might use, but 13 weeks of a sedentary overnight job has left me in more rounded proportions than before. So, join a gym, turn fat to muscle, etc.
• Internet projects - these have grown in number to include
• MuTube - a music hosting service
• Super Florence Jam - I'm doing a redesign for them
• Planet of the Lizards - we're going to write an entire book over the internet. A daunting task in itself.
• Turn work room into music studio - It already is, in a way. The transition is mostly formal - I'm going to build a wraparound desk, get everything working the way it should. Possibly upgrade monitors and microphones; in the future there may be soundproofing and a dedicated Mac Pro.
• Cut snow video - this one should be easier now I have my new iPod to use as a scratch disk. Still, finding time can be hard.
  
  And the final and most daunting task of all:
  
• Come out to my family.
  
  Virtually everyone else I know knows that I'm gay. I don't know if anyone knows how hard this is, apart from other gay guys of course. It's not fear of rejection or anything - I don't know how they'll take it, but I'm sure no-one's doing anything drastic. At least, not drastically bad. What's scary is the change - I've been carrying this secret for years and years. I can barely remember what it was like to not have it - and as much as I hate it, fear of change is in us all, and there are fewer changes larger than this. The mere thought of it gives me goosebumps. (I'm serious. I just got goosebumps from thinking about it.)

I feel some trepidation about almost every single item in that list, and for the moment, it's easier to concentrate on the ones I feel comfortable with, like the internet projects.

But sooner or later, this list needs to be completed.
-gorman

maybe you should do some research first

There's a documentary on Discovery right now about high-speed rail systems. Out of the Maglev segment, they went to a short segment about NASA's designs on going into space using a maglev system. Right at the end was a computer sim of a theoretical Maglev launch system for a space shuttle. The voice over said "..someday there may be a maglev fast enough to launch us... into space." Set aside the ridiculous voice. This man is suggesting - I'm sure that it's not actually NASA suggesting this - this man is suggesting that a maglev train can accelerate a payload, weighing hundreds of tons, to escape velocity.

Escape velocity is eleven kilometres per second.

my very last day

This is my last day. By which I mean night, obviously.

At least, for this year. Once they stop shooting I stop having tapes to digitise and I am effectively made redundant.

It's odd, because I've never worked Mondays before, at least, not Monday nights - and as I'm sure none of you are aware (for the obvious reason) Idol goes to air Monday nights, live. So, they are all in studio right now.

This is odd because, as I have mentioned before, I usually work here completely alone, the only person in the whole complex - and for tonight, for the first time I saw someone else here. For the first time I wasn't alone - far from it, I saw the audience on my way in, plus of course all the crew on the floor - but I saw someone, up in the hallways, in the place where I work, whilst I was working.

That someone was Andrew G. Weird.

things that make no sense, volume two

I just learned that the release date for the next Harry Potter movie in Australia is September 6th. I'm not an avid fan of the Harry Potter movies, but one of the things about the internet is that you often end up on pages you care very little about, and read them anyway.

The point of all this is that Australia is, as usual, one of the last countries to get a film. In fact, it is the last country, and by a long way. The US release date is July 13th. That's three months before we get it.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: staggering release dates makes no sense. Especially not by three months.

things that make no sense, volume one

What interests me about those pot noodle things is, they assume that you're in a place with hot running water and a microwave, but no forks.

Topato is a potato

I finally bought some webcomic merchandise. If you know me well you know I am a bandit for webcomics, or at least, for certain webcomics, and anything made by Jeffrey Rowland is up there on that list. Because (according to his latest overcompensating post) the man is some kind of dire straits, so I bought one of these awesome hoodies.

My only regret is that it cost sixty dollars.

dreams of a sick and twisted mind, volume two

And you thought this blog was dead.

So, I'm on a bus - this is a dream - I'm on a bus and this guy sitting next to me basically starts hitting on me. Long slightly creepy story short, we start going out.

A few weeks later, we're in this bar - looks fairly fancy but I've never been there nor have I any idea where it could be. It's light outside. Anyway, my mum and some other people are there too. He (I don't actually know his name) asks me if I'm going to leave that joint there all night. I look down and sure enough there's a big one in the ashtray. I look up but my mum doesn't seem to have noticed. I don't have a lighter, so he lights it and takes the first puff. I take the second. Oh man, is this stuff strong. I feel it come on almost immediately. We take a few more and I stop caring that there are other people there.

We're back at the house (my house) stoned out of our brains when I start tripping. Just little stuff - like we're lying on the couch side by side, and we're looking at each other meaningfully, and I reach out to touch him and he's not there. He is in fact in the kitchen. Weird.

But then I totally phase out. I'm not even remotely conscious of what I'm doing.

Suddenly I'm at DJ Warehouse. This is in Leichhardt. I take no notice of that fact. So anyway I'm looking around and there's more clothes than I remember, but mostly raver stuff, you know, reflective shiny gear. So I go upstairs - more clothes. I realise there's actually only clothes here. I come back down and ask the lady at the counter "Didn't there used to be lights and stuff upstairs?" She shakes her head, wild-eyed.

I'm coming down as I walk out the door. I realize suddenly where DJ Warehouse is and how far I must have come to get here. I'm alone, too - he's not with me. Crap, they must have no idea where I am. I have to get home.

As I come down I realise something - I'm probably still tripping. This whole thing is a halucination... as I come down further the scenery starts to change. Big buildings become smaller, car yards become playgrounds. I'm in Allambie. Relax, I think to myself, maybe you're still tripping. But I know in my heart that's not true.

I really am in Allambie.

Fuck.

At least I'm reasonably close to home, I think. It's a half-hour bus trip from here, and one is coming right now. It's not a regular bus, though. It's painted silver and purple in some crazy designs and it's full of people, some of whom I think I know. There's a large window - big enough to climb through - at the back. Through it I can see a guy I definitely know - Anthony Taylor. He says incredulously, "Morgan? Hey man, you need a ride?"
I say "Yeah, man. Badly."
He says "Hop in."

Rather than go through either of the doors however, I decide to jump through this huge window, which there are hand-grips beside, probably for that exact reason. It's rather like rock-climbing. I say "Give me a hand, will ya?"
He says "Not unless you stop acting like an asshole towards me."
The bus is now actually starting to drive away.
I say "What are you talking about?"
He says "You always acted like an asshole towards me. I need to know it's going to stop."
At this point we're actually approaching the speed limit. Although I think to myself "You stole my iPod, I'm never going to forgive you for it," I say to him "Okay man, whatever."
He pulls me through onto the bus.

I explain my predicament. He says "Damn, man, you must have been pretty fucked up."

"Yeah. Yeah I was."

By the time I get home, everyone's in bed, and my man is nowhere to be found.